once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
