cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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