She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
