We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
