Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Operation Purity has been aborted
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
