there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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