We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
