can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
