Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
