we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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