batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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