Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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