just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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