Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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