ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
