dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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