hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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