i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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