the day after is always just damage control
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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