Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
