Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
COCAINE IS GR8
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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