I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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