Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
