why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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