The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
