the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
