You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
