Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize