I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
