Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
