Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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