she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
