I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I could fuck to npr.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
