Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I need moral support for this bender
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
