let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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