I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
