I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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