it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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