Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
