I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
