i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
