I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
