I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize