actually, I'm a sock model
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
