Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's blow job season.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
