i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
