problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
