After last night, I could never be a politician.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
