When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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