I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
