i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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