so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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