tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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