You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
