Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
